The next time you braai with your buddies...
by Skillie Jacques Botha It was one of my few off Saturdays and of course we had a braai. My cousin’s hubby-to-be was kuier-ing around the braai with us, when a random guy quickly pops in and having heard about the wedding taking place soon, asking the soon-to-be-wed: “So how far did she push you to get married? You know your life is over now, right?!” I can’t even begin to describe what I felt when hearing this guy saying stuff like this. Having the privilege to work with a lot of different people from all over South Africa, I see how a lot of relationships function — and it’s a very sad thing to say and see — but there’s too many broken marriages out there. I truly believe that marriage can be heaven on earth if it’s a safe place of love, caring, mutual respect and if we as men love our brides to the ends of the earth and ’til the end of all time! I believe that one of the origins of broken marriages is the horrible jokes men make about marriage. Comments like the one made above is unacceptable. We as followers of Christ should stand up against the lame stigmas connected to marriage. Men should realise that the ball is in their hands. It’s our responsibility to show our wives love, and to serve them, rather than making a stupid joke like — ‘Women should be in the kitchen, and keep their mouths shut’ or ‘Your life is over now — your wife will sit on your head from now on’. These are not things we’re supposed to be saying to guys entering into marriage. We should rather encourage them to explore the amazing-ness of the most beautiful intimate relationship between humans on earth. Let us immediately stop making jokes about marriage — because it’s not something to joke about in the world we live in. A healthy marriage goes far beyond just the relationship of husband and wife — it spills over to family dynamics and every other person coming in contact with the couple. It’s the first place where children learn about the concept of loving, caring, giving and respect. This will not only encourage the children of the future generation to be awesome spouses one day, but also just to be rad human beings. I really think it’s time we take marriage a bit more seriously. If you want to make an untasteful joke about marriage — fine, just think about the broader consequences you are creating. One negative line can discourage and destroy a lot of relationships, where a comment of encouragement can create a better future for your community and own family. These types of things are worth more than any gold or diamonds. So, on that note — your life is most certainly not over when you enter marriage — it will only grow and blossom into something more beautiful everyday. It’s truly the closest we’ll get to heaven on earth. Don’t be an idiot now. Be the change.