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How to tame dangerous words

by Stephan Joubert

Aggression is a tragic human condition. Road rage is rife; other kinds of rage as well. Just bump against someone by accident in a shop or a bank and you’ll get fierce stares... even verbal threats. Sometimes not even people’s faith curb their violent natures, as I recently discovered when a person with a Bible verse on his car’s bumper showed me a very un-Biblical sign when he cut me off in the traffic. I dared flashed my headlights to warn him that he’s going to bump me when he “greeted” me in this strange manner.

If we do not deliberately choose to address the ever-growing problem of anger in our own hearts and on our tongues, we allow it free reign in our lives. The capability to end aggression also resides in that little space between our upper and lower jaws. The right words on our tongues hold a significant key to the prevention and ending of verbal hostilities. Gentle words can quench fires of hate. It can bring people closer together. We can choose to stop using words as verbal battering rams. We need to do the grace-talk every day. We must allow God’s grace to flow freely and gently over our lips. ‘A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire’ (Proverbs 15:1). ‘Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim’ (Proverbs 15:4).

Why not pray the following prayer every morning: ‘Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a watch at the door of my lips’ (Psalm 141:3). Think twice before you speak. No, pray before you say... anything ... something. Ask God to arrest every destructive word before it gets the chance to escape your mouth, because once words escape from your lips, you’ll never get them back again. Spoken words have a life of their own. Keep watch over your words; all too soon they begin to break bones! Pray for wisdom to keep silent when you need to keep your lips shut, and to speak when you must. Also pray for the wisdom to know the difference between a godly silence and a few well-chosen words of wisdom!

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