Elusive Joy

It’s that time of year in South Africa: the dreaded cold, wintery middle. Short days that seem to go by slower than normal. Everything takes more effort than usual. Winter, especially being right in the middle of it, is very uninspiring. And it’s still so far until the celebration of Christmas. Winter time has very little incentive.

Recently I read a comment somewhere that “Summer bodies are made in winter.” It is in the dreaded winter that we need to push harder so at the right time we can reap the rewards. Have you ever gone for a run or bike ride in the dark, freezing days of winter? It takes everything out of you, but it builds the endurance and strength you need. It even brings deep satisfaction, gratitude, and joy. When you are able to have joy in winter time, imagine what is possible in summer! It is in winter time that newness is born.

Our souls transform through seasons as well. Whether you are in winter or summer, embracing the season you are in sets you free to grow in it.

I am currently in a long, dark season of winter.

I saw a note on a friend’s Instagram that spoke deeply to me. This is my prayer in my season of winter. May it be yours as well as you walk through your winter and may it produce inexplicable joy in us both.

The note read:

“I want the agony to away. I don't rejoice in the moment. I don’t rejoice at all (especially when it’s winter in my soul). But as I cling to God and His promises, he sustains me. Joy is at first elusive. I have glimpses of delight, but it is mostly slow and incremental. Yet over time, I realize I have an inexplicable joy, not in my circumstances but in the God who fiercely cares for me. Eating the everyday, bland, sometimes unwelcome manna produces a joy beyond my wildest imaginings. I have found that this joy, which is often birthed out of suffering, can never be taken away; it only gets richer over time. My circumstances cannot diminish it. It produces character and hope. It draws me to God in breathtaking ways. It achieves a weight of glory beyond all comparison. I still earnestly pray for deliverance (or for winter to be over) for the many things I long to see change in my life and the world. That is right. That is biblical. We need to bring our requests to God. But as much as I long for deliverance, for delivering grace, I see the exquisite blessing in sustaining grace. It is not about what I want, it’s about God giving me what I desperately need – Himself.”