The Surprising Challenge in Being Right
by Maxie Kamalski
Don’t we all want to be right? Recall your last 'difference of opinion,’ disagreement, argument or ‘Let's agree to disagree' discussion you were in, whether with your spouse, at work or with a friend. Regardless of outcome, I'm positive that your thought was not ‘I really hope I am wrong.’ No, we all enjoy being right, especially when we have the proof to back up our opinion.
But I have recently realized that being right isn't all it’s cracked up to be. Being the person in the right actually requires more of you than being the person in the wrong. Think back for a moment to an argument you were in where you knew that you were wrong. Knowingly being wrong is certainly a humbling experience since you have to reconcile relationship and admit fault, apologize, and ask forgiveness from someone you are likely quite close to. And yet, these actions, while quite difficult, especially in the humility of admitting fault, actually then require the other person’s reciprocal actions of acceptance and forgiveness. The one in the wrong becomes the surprising recipient of grace, while the person actually hurt bestows grace on the offender.
Now place yourself in the a scenario where you were right. You choice is whether you will bestow grace and forgiveness on the person who has hurt you, offering kindness that creates the environment where the other person receives forgiveness. You become the giver. In the times where I am right, I expect to receive something for being right – and yet, that actually never happens because being right places you in the unique position to become sacrificial like Jesus. Isn’t Christ right all the time? What does he get out of it? Not much, as it constantly requires his kindness and for him to extend undeserved grace, forgiving the offender over and over again.
The next time you find yourself in an argument or disagreement and you realize that you are actually in the right, intentionally choose to enter the position where you will be challenged to respond like Jesus. Ironically, you will find yourself in need of more humility, love, and graciousness since you are the giver, not the receiver. And giving comes at a cost to yourself.
May you be more like Jesus who constantly gives his life – and his justified sense of being right – away.