The Lifesaving Art of Reconciliation
by Maxie Kamalski
Sometimes I don’t understand our world. Why can’t we all simply get along? Whether it’s the tragic news of a South African charity worker and his children being killed in Afghanistan, or the siege in a cafe in Sydney where two hostages were murdered, or over a hundred children gunned down in a school in Pakistan, it’s next to impossible to even consider the idea of reconciliation, let alone practice it in our daily relationships. All of this violence took place on some level because people were unwilling to leave space for a different idea or belief other than their own. While I know that the practice of reconciliation is way more complicated than what can be written in a short blog post, I feel compelled to share some thoughts anyway.
Having recently celebrated ‘Reconciliation Day’ in South Africa this past December 16th, I realize that I don’t fully understand or value the idea of reconciliation as I should. As South Africans with first-hand encounters of the power of reconciliation, we should be a loud voice for the lifesaving art of reconciliation.
The dictionary defines reconciliation as follows:
reconciliation noun \ˌre-kən-ˌsi-lē-ˈā-shən\ : 1. the act of causing two people or groups to become friendly again after an argument or disagreement. 2. the process of finding a way to make two different ideas, facts, etc., exist or be true at the same time.
On a societal scale reconciliation is lifesaving but as I am always reminded, if we can’t practice it in the most basic of relationships, how will we ever manage to practice it in a manner that transforms culture? I have begun pondering what living a life of reconciliation looks like in my closest relationships and I realized that if I am honest, I’m not very good at it. I am so bent on having others see things my way that I don't leave much room for their ideas to co-exist alongside mine.
Isn’t this what Jesus was all about though? He came to reconcile us with himself, meeting us where we were actually are. He actually became human and released his divinity so that He could reconcile us back to God himself.
This is what living a reconciled life looks like – being willing to completely let go of your rights so that you can enter relationship with someone who is different from you without judgement or persuasion. Living reconciled lives in our daily relationships will flow over into our neighborhoods and the world at large, hopefully paving the way for us to slowly hear less stories of bloodshed and hatred because we simply could not be reconciled with our neighbor.
Reconciliation might just save our world.