About 13 years ago, as a fresh-faced 19 year-old, I attended a Bible School in a small town in
east Texas. During one of our lectures, we listened to the story of a man who went to a known
violent tribe to share the good news of Jesus. He eventually was killed there while doing what he
believed God had sent him to do. Some time later his daughter found his Bible and inside she
found a simple statement written inside the front cover of his Bible: No matter what happens, I
will not quit.
That phrase has stuck with me for years now. This wasn't a statement of self-motivation, it was
a declaration of what He believed about who God actually is. In saying that, he made a simple
declaration: No matter what happens in my life I know that God is good and I will continue to
follow him. Some time later someone asked me the most haunting question I have ever had to
wrestle with:
"If God never answered any of your prayers, would you still follow Him?"
Think with me about that haunting question for a moment. What if God never came to your
rescue when you cried out in pain, or never answered a single prayer that you prayed? What if all
you faced in your life was pain and calamity, and even though you cried out to God repeatedly,
He seemingly continued to ‘not act?’ Would you still follow Him? If you never encounter
"blessings" or seemingly experience God showing up for you, would you still follow Him?
I have had to wrestle with these questions repeatedly in my life, but have only been able to come
to this conclusion:
God is good – always – even when I think He doesn't seem to be.
God is love, and I can trust this reality even if nothing in my life or world shows me that.
God is with me, even when I feel utterly alone and abandoned by Him.
God is the only one I can trust, no matter what happens or if I understand what is going on.
And even when I don't understand, God is still good and I'll be okay.
I remember on 31 March 2013 I wrote those words in my own Bible and the journey of living
into that truth has not been easy, but God has remained in my heart. He has stayed with me, even
when I wanted to give up on Him when all the heartache has hit. It has not changed things as
I thought they should be but it has changed my perspective profoundly, for I have learned to
follow God for who He is and not for what He can do for me.
In doing so I have found that I could have peace when I can't see peace in my world. I started
understanding Scripture through a different lens, and I moved away from reading the Bible or
prayer to get something out of it for me, instead beginning to do those things as a way of being with God. And here's the beautiful catch: God does hear our prayer! He does answer us – He can't help it – it’s who He is!
Perhaps you find yourself in such a time of darkness, with life simply not making sense, no
matter how hard you try. In this season, please know that God is still with you, that He is love,
and that He will be with you through it all. That's the point, after all – Not the answered
prayers or blessings, but the being together. May you find peace in that reality and keep
following Him.